rdnkgirl74's Blog

Hello All!

Well I got on another kick and decided to send a letter to the White House. I have sent it a few times and have yet to get a response. Maybe they are waiting to build a case against me and charge me with some random crime.....Here is the letter you tell me what you think:

A lady wrote the best letter in the Editorials
 in ages!!! It explains things better than all
 the baloney you hear on TV.
 
Her point:

Recently large demonstrations have taken place
across the country protesting the fact that Congress
is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration.

Certain people are angry that
the U.S. might protect its own
borders, might make it harder
to sneak into this country and,
once here, to stay indefinitely.

Let me see if I correctly understand
the thinking behind these protests:

Let's say I break into your house.
Let's say that when you discover
me in your house, you insist that I leave.
But I say, "No! I like it here.
It's better than my house. I've made all
the beds and washed the
dishes and did the laundry
and swept the floors. I've
done all the things you don't
like to do. I'm hard-working
and honest
(except for when I broke into your house).
 
According to the protesters:
You are Required to let me stay in your house
You are Required to feed me
You are Required to add me to your family's insurance plan
You are Required to Educate my kids
You are Required to Provide other benefits to me & to my family
(my husband will do all of your yard work because
he is also hard-working and honest, except for that
breaking in part).

If you try to call the police or force me out,
I will call my friends who will picket your
house carrying signs that proclaim my
RIGHT to be there.
It's only fair, after all, because you have
a nicer house than I do, and I'm just
trying to better myself. I'm a hard-working
and honest, person, except for well,
you know, I did break into your house
And what a deal it is for me!!!
 
I live in your house, contributing only a
fraction of the cost of my keep, and
there is nothing you can do about it
without being accused of cold,
uncaring, selfish, prejudiced, and
bigoted behavior.
Oh yeah, I DEMAND that you learn
MY LANGUAGE!!! so you can
communicate with me.
 
Why can't people see how ridiculous
this is?! Only in America .
if you agree, pass it on ( in English ).
Share it if you see the value of it.
If not blow it off.........
along with your future Social Security
funds, and a lot of other things

I haven't blogged in quite sometime due to all the drama that was rampant on this site yet something has brought me back. That is the need to vent, That's correct those of you that remember me know that I from time to time get on my soapbox and just let it fly, which is why I am here today....If you are easily offended stop reading and move on now because I am an American and it is my right to say what I feel!

Yet again our nation is standing in shock as our eyes are trained upon NIU and the tragedy that took place yesterday. My heart goes out to the families and friends of those students that were injured and killed. It breaks my heart to see these kind of things happening.

So please all readers of this do not think for one second that I am not disturbed by what has happened I just feel the need to address all the questions that I have read and heard about "why" or "how" this could happen.

Has anyone stopped to realize that ALL of these "shooters" share a common thread? Granted it has not been made public yet but I am sure it will be eventually discovered that this latest killer was also a "Social Reject." Are we that blind that we can't see the connection? I find it interesting that no one seems to focus on that little tiny fact. All of them at some point have been made fun of, teased humiliated, & ridiculed, which are all forms of bullying. Maybe there is a connection there?  The facts are clear we no longer live in a society like we used to. Now it is even dangerous to send your child to an elementary school. It's easy to place blame "it was too easy for them to get the weapons",  "the school should have been more prepared", "they should have looked for the signs."  While in truth if we want to blame someone then we need to turn the finger around and point it at ourselves. WE ARE TO BLAME! We teach our children from a young age that it is okay to ridicule...what you don't think so...what about when you are sitting in traffic and someone cuts you off and you cuss at them calling them all sorts of loving names...or when you make a comment about the way someone is dressed or if they are in shape or if they are white or black or Mexican? Guess who is in the back seat or the same room absorbing EVERYTHING like a sponge! Still disagree? Well you are obviously content and there is no need for you continue reading, stay in Fantasy-ville tell the Munchkins I say hi!

You see I can actually say these things because I had to do just that; I had to STOP and look at what I was encouraging my daughter to do, what I was basically saying it's okay for her to do. And the telling a child "don't do this because it's a big kid thing" and then turning around and telling them "your a big kid now and need to act like it"  I am sure is not confusing to them at all. So what am trying to say?  Well I guess I'm saying.....

There WERE signs in each case that these kids weren't happy that they were "not right", but no one saw them because they didn't look. Teachers are kept jumping through hoops these days  and can't even do half of what they used to be allowed to do. This is why I could never be a teacher I would get fired in the first week because the second one of these little hateful snot nosed kids that are over running our country was disrespectful to me I would knock his world sideways and the second I saw a kid getting picked on or made fun of I would knock the bully's world sideways. And then I would have a meeting with the parents and align their world with that of their kids! And don't even start on me about violence is not the answer cause I can tell you this: back when kids WERE getting their little butts whipped there weren't any school shootings or mall rampages. We had no need for Anti-Bulling Laws, cause they knew that if they got caught doing it after the principal of the school got done with them Mom and Dad were gonna split their rear the other way! Kids had respect for their elders and for the rules, they knew the differences between right and wrong. But not anymore, I am sick to death of the fact that I can't even go shopping anymore without having to hear some screaming heathen throwing a fit (I am talking about kids from 1 to 16 yrs old) and their dim-witted parent trying to "reason" with them. HEY TO ALL YOU THAT DO THIS PAY ATTENTION: I don't want to hear how they are tired or how they aren't feeling well or how you are so embarrassed! When I am shopping I don't want to hear anything but the sound of the store music but I can't hear it because YOU have NO control of that spawn of yours, so if isn't the sound of your hand making contact with their rear end shut your mouth and LEAVE THE STORE!!! Go home and prepare for the fact that you are raising a bully! That's right one of those children that through the humiliating of others finds joy, one of those that will be cruel and unkind, one that will go out of their way to make some one they don't like a social outcast. Why would they do that? Because you never taught them any different, you let them rule you and never taught them what respect, kindness, or compassion is, for that matter you never bothered with what is appropriate behavior.  

As my soapbox wobbles I want you all to know I feel no pity for any of the shooters, what they did was an inhuman thing and I am NOT making excuses for any of them. But I think that as a society WE need to make sure that attention is paid to where it is needed, the breaking of a person's spirit is easy to see when you are looking, but if we choose not to look then we will never see. These types of things can be prevented but it starts where most things do....at home. It is OUR responsibility to teach our kids the importance of friendship, respect, kindness, truth and humanity. My daughter has been bullied and she is only nine, I myself was bullied, I was also at one time a bully. And I can tell you the old saying that "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"  is a crock words are sometimes more hurtful and they wound just like a stick or a stone leaving scars that can sometimes rupture.

In closing I want to make sure I state that this is my opinion and that you may or may not agree with it, that is your right. So to all those that are offended: I told you not to read this!

As the date approaches I just wanted to remind everyone and let all the newbies know that the Blog Fest is still happening!

It is:

 September 8th

2:00 - 6:00 pm

Lake Jacomo Park

Shelter #6

It is a Potluck Event

There are more details on the Message Boards on the "LET'S PARTY" Thread!!!

Hope to see everyone there!!

Including the Fox 4 News Team!

See Ya There!

Rdnkgirl!

Some may know and some may not!
September 8, 2007 will be the summer blogfest. In order to get an accurate idea for planning I would like to get some of your ideas. Currently I am looking at SEVERAL different areas, but I need to know what area of town would work the best for the majority.

Please let me know if you plan to attend, all joking aside I need to get a rough estimate of the amount of people so that I can obtain the proper permits.

Johnson County (Olathe, Overland Park, or Shawnee)
Jackson County (Independence, Kansas City, or Blue Springs)

BEST LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR, DECADE AND PROBABLY THE CENTURY.  

Charlotte , North Carolina . A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and  
expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire.  

Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great  
cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on
the policy the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of
small fires."  

The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason,  that
the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.  

The lawyer sued.. and WON!

Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company  
that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the  
lawyer held a policy from the company, which it had warranted that the  
cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them  
against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable  
fire" and was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure  lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance
company accepted the ruling  and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his
loss of the cigars lost in the  "fires". 

After the lawyer cashed  the check, the insurance company had him
arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!  

With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case  
being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally  
burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail
and  a $24,000 fine.

This is a true story and was the First Placewinner in the recent Criminal
Lawyers Award Contest.

ONLY IN AMERICA !  

I received this in an email and thought I would share!

One of my sons serves in the military. He is still stateside, 
here in California. He called me yesterday to let me know how  warm and
welcoming  people  were to him, and his troops, everywhere he goes, telling me how
people shake their hands, and thank them for being willing to serve, and  fight,  for
not  only our own freedoms but so that others may have them also.
But he also told me about an incident in the grocery store he stopped at
yesterday, on his way home from the base. He said that ahead of  several
people in front of him stood a woman dressed in a  burkha.
He said when she got to the cashier she loudly remarked about the
U.S. flag lapel pin the cashier wore on her smock. The cashier reached up
and  touched the pin, and said proudly, " Yes, I always wear it and  probably
always  will."
The woman in the burkha then asked the cashier when she was going to stop bombing her countrymen, explaining that she was Iraqi.
 A gentleman standing behind my son stepped forward, putting his  arm  around my son's shoulders, and nodding towards my son,  said in a calm and gentle  voice to the Iraqi woman:
 "Lady, hundreds of thousands of men and women like this young man have  fought and died so that YOU could stand here, in MY country and accuse a  check-out cashier of bombing YOUR countrymen. It is my belief  that had you been this outspoken in YOUR own country, we wouldn't need to be there today. But hey, if you have now learned how to speak out so loudly and clearly, I'll  gladly  buy you a ticket  and pay your way back to Iraq so  you can straighten out the mess in YOUR country that you are obviously here in MY country to avoid."
 

Everyone within hearing distance cheered!

As every southerner knows it's time to get ready for that all

important cooking technique of the south---outdoor Grilling!

I have found several stores (not just in the south) where you can get a FREE Bar-B-Q Grill! You can get a free BBQ grill from any of the following stores:

A&P
Albertsons
Costco

Dan's
Food Lion
Fry's
Kroger

Macey's
Big Lots
Brookshire's
Lowes
Piggly Wiggly

Publix
Safeway
Sam's Club
Target
Vons

Wagner Hardware
Wal-Mart
Winn-Dixie

I especially like the higherrack -which can be used for keeping things warm!

Just make sure to get a metal one...the Plastic one's don't do so well.

TAXES (kinda Long BUT TRUE TRUE TRUE!

At first I thought this was funny...then I realized the awful truth of

it.  Be sure to read all the way to the end!

Tax his land, tax his bed, Tax the table, At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor, Tax his mule, Teach him taxes, Are the rule.

Tax his cow, Tax his goat, Tax his pants, Tax his coat.

Tax his ties, Tax his shirt, Tax his work,Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco, Tax his drink, Tax him if he, Tries to think.

Tax his cigars, Tax his beers, If he cries, then, Tax his tears.

Tax his car, Tax his gas, Find other ways, To tax his @&&!

Tax all he has, Then let him know, That you won't be done, Till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers, Then tax him some more, Tax him till      He's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin, Tax his grave, Tax the sod in Which he's laid

Put these words upon his tomb, "Taxes drove me to my doom...."

When he's gone, Do not relax, Its time to apply  The inheritance tax.

Accounts Receivable Tax

Building Permit Tax

CDL license Tax

Cigarette Tax

Corporate Income Tax

Dog License Tax

Excise Taxes

Federal Income Tax

Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)

Fishing License Tax

Food License Tax,

Fuel permit tax

Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)

Gross Receipts Tax

Hunting License Tax

Inheritance Tax

Interest expense

Inventory tax

IRS Interest Charges

IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)

Liquor Tax

Luxury Taxes

Marriage License Tax

Medicare Tax

Personal Property Tax

Property Tax

Real Estate Tax

Service charge taxes

Social Security Tax

Road usage taxes

Sales Tax

Recreational Vehicle Tax

School Tax

State Income Tax

State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)

Telephone federal excise tax

Telephone federal universal service fee tax

Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes

Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax

Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax

Telephone state and local tax

Telephone usage charge tax

Utility Taxes

Vehicle License Registration Tax

Vehicle Sales Tax

Watercraft registration Tax

Well Permit Tax

Workers Compensation Tax

COMMENTS: Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids. What the hell happened? Can you spell "politicians!"

And We still have to "press 1" for English.....?

HOW ABOUT A PENNY FOR YOU THOUGHTS???????

I just got this and though some may agree and others not so much you can't deny that there is truth in what she wrote; Kinda long so I apologize:

ORANGE COUNTY (CALIFORNIA) NEWSPAPER
This is a very good letter to the editor.  This woman made some good points.  For some reason, people have difficulty structuring their arguments when arguing against supporting the currently proposed immigration revisions.  This lady made the argument pretty simple. 
NOT printed in the Orange County Paper..................  
  Newspapers simply won't publish letters to the editor which they either deem politically incorrect (read below) or which does not agree with the philosophy they're pushing on the public. This woman wrote a great letter to the editor that should have been published; but, with your help it will get published via cyberspace! 
  
 New Immigrants
From: "David LaBonte" 
  
 My wife, Rosemary, wrote a wonderful letter to the editor of the OC Register which, of course, was not printed. So, I decided to "print" it myself by sending it out on the Internet.
Pass it along if you feel so inclined.
Dave LaBonte (signed)
  
 Written in response to a series of letters to the editor in the Orange County Register:
  
 Dear Editor: 
  
 So many letter writers have based their arguments on how this land is made up of immigrants. Ernie Lujan for one, suggests we should tear down the Statue of Liberty because the people now in question aren't being treated the same as those who passed through Ellis Island and other ports of entry. 
  
 Maybe we should turn to our history books and point out to people like Mr. Lujan why today's American is not willing to accept this new kind of immigrant any longer. Back in 1900 when there was a rush from all areas of Europe to come to the United States, people had to get off a ship and stand in a long line in New York and be documented. Some would even get down on their hands and knees and kiss the ground. They made a pledge to uphold the laws and support their new country in good and bad times. They made learning English a primary rule in their new American households and some even changed their names to blend in with their new home. 
  
 They had waved good bye to their birth place to give their children a new life and did everything in their power to help their children assimilate into one culture. 
  
 Nothing was handed to them. No free lunches, no welfare, no labor laws to protect them. All they had were the skills and craftsmanship they had brought with them to trade for a future of prosperity. Most of their children came of age when World War II broke out. My father fought along side men whose parents had come  straight over from Germany , Italy , France and Japan . None of these 1st generation Americans ever gave any thought about what country their parents had come from. They were Americans fighting Hitler, Mussolini and the Emperor of Japan . They were defending the United States of America as one people. When we liberated France , no one in those villages were looking for the French-American or the German American or the Irish American. The people of France saw only Americans. And we carried one flag that represented one country. Not one of those immigrant sons would have thought about picking up another country's flag and waving it to represent who they were. It would have been a disgrace to their parents who had sacrificed so much to be here. These immigrants truly knew what it meant to be an American. They stirred the melting pot into one red, white and blue bowl. 
  
 And here we are in 2006 with a new kind of immigrant who wants the same rights and privileges. Only they want to achieve it by playing with a different set of rules, one that includes the entitlement card and a guarantee of being faithful to their mother country. I'm sorry, that's not what being an American is all about. I believe that the immigrants who landed on Ellis Island in the early 1900's deserve better than that for all the toil, hard work and sacrifice in raising future generations to create a land that has become a beacon for those legally searching for a better life. I think they would be appalled that they are being used as an example by those waving foreign country flags. 
  
 And for that suggestion about taking down the Statue of Liberty , it happens to mean a lot to the citizens who are voting on the immigration bill. I wouldn't start talking about dismantling the United States just yet.
(signed) Rosemary LaBonte
  

Since I tend to say it like it is, when I got this it was just to honest not to share with the community!

Dear God:

Why didn't you save the school children at.....

Bath, Michigan 1927
Houston, TX 1959
Moses Lake , Washington 2/2/96
Bethel , Alaska 2/19/97
Pearl , Mississippi 10/1/97
West Paducah , Kentucky 12/1/97
Stamp, Arkansas 12/15/97
Jonesboro , Arkansas 3/24/98
Edinboro , Pennsylvania 4/24/98
Fayetteville , Tennessee 5/19/98
Springfield , Oregon 5/21/98
Richmond , Virginia 6/15/98
Littleton , Colorado 4/20/99
Taber , Alberta , Canada 5/28/99
Conyers , Georgia 5/20/99
Deming , New Mexico 11/19/99
Fort Gibson , Oklahoma 12/6/99
Santee , California 3/ 5/01
El Cajon , California 3/22/01 and
Blacksburg, Virginia 4/16/07?

Sincerely,

A Concerned Student

Reply:

Dear Concerned Student:

I am not allowed in schools.

Sincerely,

God
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How did this all get started?...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Let's see,
I think it started when Madeline Murray O'Hare complained
she didn't want any prayer in our schools.
And we said, OK..
Then, someone said you better not read the Bible in school, the Bible that says
"thou shalt not kill,"
"thou shalt not steal,"
"and love your neighbors as yourself,"
And we said, OK...
Dr. Benjamin Spock said
we shouldn't spank our children
when they misbehaved
because their little personalities
would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem. And we said, an expert should know what he's talking about so we won't spank them anymore.
Then someone said
teachers and principals better not
discipline our children when they misbehave.
And the school administrators said
no faculty member in this school
better touch a student when they misbehave
because we don't want any bad publicity,
and we surely don't want to be sued.
And we accepted their reasoning...
Then someone said,
let's let our daughters have abortions if they want,
and they won't even have to tell their parents.
And we said, that's a grand idea...
Then some wise school board member said,
since boys will be boys
and they're going to do it anyway,
let's give our sons all the condoms they want,
so they can have all the fun they desire,
and we won't have to tell their parents they got them at school.
And we said, that's another great idea...
Then some of our top elected officials said
it doesn't matter what we do in private as long as we do our jobs.
And we said,
it doesn't matter what anybody,
including the President,
does in private as long as we have jobs and the economy is good....
And someone else took that appreciation a step further
and published pictures of nude children
and then stepped further still by
making them available on the Internet.
And we said, everyone's entitled to free speech....
And the entertainment industry said,
let's make TV shows and movies that promote
profanity, violence and illicit sex...
And let's record music that encourages
rape, drugs, murder, suicide, and satanic themes...
And we said,
it's just entertainment
and it has no adverse effect
and nobody takes it seriously anyway,
so go right ahead.
Now we're asking ourselves
why our children have no conscience,
why they don't know right from wrong,
and why it doesn't bother them to
kill strangers, classmates or even themselves.
Undoubtedly, if we thought about it long and hard enough, we could figure it out. I'm sure it has a great deal to do with...

"WE REAP WHAT WE SOW,"

Now you can share these thoughts with others
if you think it has merit!
If not then just forget about them...
but if you forget about this thought process,
then don't you dare sit back and complain about
what bad shape this country is in  
In God We Trust!!!!      

In light of the events of the past few days we need something to make us smile even if it is for only a second!  Enjoy!

 Essential Vocabulary Additions For The Workplace    (and elsewhere)!!!

1. BLAMESTORMING : Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project
failed, and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER : A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, trashes everyones' work, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS : The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

4. SALMON DAY : The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. CUBE FARM : An office filled with cubicles.

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING : When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO : The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

8. SITCOMs : Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

9. STRESS PUPPY : A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

10. SWIPEOUT : An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

11. XEROX SUBSIDY : Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

12. IRRITAINMENT : Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE : The fine art of repeatedly whacking on an electronic device to get it to work again.

14. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

15. 404 : Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested site could not be located.

16. GENERICA : Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

17. OHNO-SECOND : That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake).

18. WOOFS : Well-Off Older Folks.

19. CROP DUSTING : Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.


Have a nice day !

This might make a few people mad but it's my opinion and it's within my rights to express it! Hopefully Rebecca will allow!

All those in favor of gun control raise your right hand!

Thought I would share some scenery from Oregon

1st pic is Mt Jefferson near Sisters Oregon

2nd pic is Tumalo Falls Bend Oregon

Having a bad day??? It could be worse.......

In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 a.m., regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 a.m. on; Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents.

The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 a.m., all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about.  Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off
the evil spirits. Just when the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.

Is it that  Bad of a  Day????

The average  cost  of  rehabilitating  a  seal  after  the  Exxon Valdez  Oil spill  in  Alaska   was  $80,000.00.   At  a  special ceremony,  two  of  the most  expensively  saved  animals  were being released  back  into  the  wild amid  cheers  and  applause  from onlookers. A minute  later,  in  full  view,  a  killer  whale  ate  them both.

Still think  you  are  having  a  Bad  Day????

A woman  came  home  to  find  her  husband  in  the kitchen  shaking frantically,  almost  in  a  dancing  frenzy,  with  some  kind  of wire running  from  his  waist  towards  the  electric  kettle. Intending  to jolt  him  away  from  the  deadly  current,  she  whacked him  with  a  handy plank  of  wood,  breaking  his  arm in two  places. Up  to  that  moment, he  had  been  happily  listening  to  his Walkman.

STILL think  you're  having Bad  Day????

Two animal  rights  defenders  were  protesting  the  cruelty  of sending  pigs to  a  slaughterhouse  in  Bonn ,  Germany .   Suddenly, all  two  thousand pigs  broke  loose  and  escaped  through  a  broken fence,  stampeding madly. The two  helpless  protesters  were  trampled  to  death.

What?? STILL  having  a  Bad  Day????

Iraqi terrorist Khay  Rahnajet  didn't  pay  enough  postage  on  a letter  bomb. It  came  back  with "Return  to  Sender"  stamped  on it.   Forgetting  it was  the  bomb,  he  opened  it  and  was  blown to bits.

There now,  feeling  better????